omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
