don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
