this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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