I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
