Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
