I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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