there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
