I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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