Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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