I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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