You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
