i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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