she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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