matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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