U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You pole danced in your parka.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
