You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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