I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
