I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!