Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
