I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
