dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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