Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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