i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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