I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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