You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
