You can't motorboat a personality
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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