Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
