TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
