Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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