Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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