I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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