I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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