he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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