why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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