My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
