Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
