I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize