i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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