i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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