I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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