She is in my trunk
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
