she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
