Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
