somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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