Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
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