Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
