Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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