Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
