You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
