Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize