We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
