I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
