i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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