She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
