I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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