sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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