I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
