So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
