So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
