I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
