im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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