do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I need water and some morals
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
