Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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