Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
