I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize