How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
